I will get healed! I will put down the steroids! I will change my lifestyle! I will diet and I will do yoga! That’s it for you arthritis! An autoimmune disease? Not a problem, it is just like the gadgets we add the smart label to; nowadays the trendy thing in diagnosing illnesses is to be called autoimmune. But I will heal with God, because what is not possible for man is possible with God! So I open the Bible on the third day of my diet, let’s see what the Lord says. Should I really not eat fruit for a month when strawberries are in season?

͞The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer. 1 Timothy 4:1-5

Oh, but this is a very concrete message Dear God! So should I leave it all then? Bu I am here, ready for anything! I would like my pain to be gone, so I can lift Vince with all my strength. But instead my fingers are swollen and stiff, and I can only manage to dress myself with tears in my eyes. In the morning every step hurts and I pray to survive the day without pain. If You allow Vince͛s legs not to move, then obviously You give me the strength to take care of him. Then what if I kept the diet, since all of Your creation is good, and from those I will eat vegetables now.

My morning vegetable shake: 1 stick of carrot, half a cucumber, 1 beetroot, 5 pcs strawberries, 5 pcs blackberries, 1
spoonful buckwheat + millet, 1 spoonful poppy seed oil, 1 dl coconut milk.

Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup. For those who eat and drink without discerning the body of Christ eat and drink judgment on themselves. That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. 1 Corinthians 11:28-30

I pray before meals to receive a blessing for my healing. I pray for the vitamins to get absorbed in my body. I pray about not having the pain come back with less and less pills. But God has another plan! With me for sure, because after three months of being vegetarian, having a lactose and gluten free diet all the pain comes back after gradually putting the medicine down. And, it comes back more aggressively, because beside the swelling, tensions and pain I feel like I even have a fever. There is an infection in my body. I am tense because I have done everything I could and nothing͛s changed.

But the diet works for others. A changed lifestyle and the disease is forgotten. Why can’t I do it then? But God doesn’t think in schemes. He calls everyone personally. Just as a parent who cannot relate to each of their child with the same kind of love; they know how to love their children, what they desire and how to keep those desires in check. We also get personalized love and personalized nurturing from God. Yes, he allows for my little boy to be handicapped, and along with that He allows me to be powerless. He has a purpose with this, the most important teaching of all, which says He is the Savior; we tend to forget all the time. I think I am the one who researches cure for my son or for myself, but in the meantime He calls us to know that whatever healing we experience in our
lives, it is possible because God has blessed it.

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, My son, do not make light of the Lord͛s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.͛ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone
undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 12: 4-10

So I await with longsuffering, paying attention to His teachings, accepting the good and the bad equally, because I know that as God’s beloved child I can only emerge in the end as a winner from any difficult situation. I am certain of this already, because He has shown me many times what a loving God He is. Right now He is calling me to longsuffering, and then the blessing will arrive on time as well. Now is not the time yet…

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. Hebrews 12:11-13

Dear Heavenly Father! I am so thankful for having medicine that can reduce my pain! Thank you for able to lift Vince easily! Despite the difficulties my soul is filled with love, I can laugh without a care, and I love that I can receive life through Your Word and through prayers! Please forgive the situations in my life when I missed the mark and tried to exist without You. The glory is forever Yours! May Your will be done in my life! Amen.