In the past couple of years I have noticed that when I am with company, I am not the one who is the center of the conversation like I used to be. I’ve become the quiet one who observes. I thought this was a sign of depression. I kept questioning my attitude, and I kept analyzing if I’ve become too indifferent and too involved with the thought of Vince’s healing. But God gave an answer to this question as well: I simply don’t like talking about useless stuff anymore and keep playing the same record for others. I don’t feel good after these conversations, because we don’t talk about something meaningful. In the Bible God is very specific about what happens when we talk about useless things:
“The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”
But when I pray with other moms, I find myself rather talkative. I ask Jesus to take our burdens, and at the end of the prayer I feel complete joy and gratitude for everything. These are the words that don’t seem useless, because, through prayer, they carry truth and life. After a few days the healing actually happens. God alone is the One who can heal our souls, minds and bodies.
When Vince was born, we were told lots of things by the doctors. One sentence is still very vivid in my mind: Vince will never be able to sit!
Last week I made a deal for a round sponge-like cushion in one of the treatment centers, because the physiotherapist sat Vince on it, and he was able to sit on his own for minutes. There were many years of work in the blessing to see Vince sitting alone, and I am thankful for the physiotherapists, doctors, nurses, helpers, and every institution that worked with him. And I am most thankful to God who brought these people into our lives!
The doctor, who said that Vince would never sit, poisoned me. I am not angry at him; he simply stated the facts, which medically pointed in one direction. But God is much greater than just giving us a one-way street. At any time He is capable of taking us to a multilane highway that ends on a mountaintop, from where we can clearly see everything around us.
At the weekend He sat us down on this mountaintop, and the following view opened up to us: Vince was able to sit alone in the beanbag chair in which he used to lean back and lie flat on his back. We bought this chair three years ago, because a little girl with the same syndrome was able to sit on her own in one just like this at the age of two.
Would you like to look around from the mountaintop? Pray!
What does this look like in our hectic everyday lives? If we experience offence or prejudice, we immediately dial our best friend’s number, and we complain. But why don’t we recognize the twist in this? It’s the same old record for years, over-and-over-and-over. It was almost six years ago that I heard the sentence that my son would not be able to sit, and I played this crummy old song over and over, and on top of that, I told it to others as well, over and over. Then when I accepted Jesus into my heat, I threw this old record out, and I asked DJ GOD to mix me a new song, something more upbeat, something more cheerful.
I prayed for God to show me how to pray and how to bear difficulties with joy. This is the word He sent to me:
“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.”
I thought about this. Paul had pain in his body from all the beatings, and what’s the first thing he does at night in the prison? He sings and prays! Goodness, how many times have I felt tired, exhausted and hopeless… And I wasn’t in the mood to sing, that’s for sure! But when I was over the emotions, I called my girlfriend.
By now by best friend and I have gotten to the point where we don’t start our conversations with complaints but go right into prayer, because we have recognized that this is the only thing that works in our lives. We often crown the prayer with a song, and we keep laughing, because it’s impossible to sing over the phone at the same time, as the sound is out of sync. Of course if we don’t have to rush back to our families right after prayer, we chat a little, but our talks are about sharing the blessings that were the results of prayers, and we discuss our new realizations.
Homework: give it a try! Call your girlfriend, or if you are a man, call your best buddy, and pray together a little bit in the name of Jesus. He doesn’t want anything sublime, just that you open the requests of your heart up to Him. It can be a prayer that is clumsy, five words only and without any fireworks, but it should come from your heart, and make sure you address it to Jesus! I did my first prayer trial a year ago when I had to rush Vince to the hospital, and Jesus healed him.
What do you desire? What are waiting for? Instead of a chit-chat and small talk, say a prayer!