I sit in the hallway in the kindergarten, drinking hot tea from my travel mug and listening to audio material from my Bible school. Vince was able to start school with the guarantee that I could stay in the building every day, so if there is a need to do something with his tracheostomy tube, I could help immediately. I must be a strange creature here in the institution, because people come and go around me, and I just plop down somewhere where I find Wi-Fi signal on my phone. I just now found a place with signal, right in front of the director’s office. I am preparing for an exam for my Kings and Prophets class, and I think about King Jehoshaphat’s life, who ruled in Judea. It happened 3000 years ago that he lifted God’s Word in his heart, and he even sent his generals amongst the people to teach God’s Word.
Nice little story, but now I have to run and suction secretion from Vince’s trach.
I return to the Wi-Fi zone, and I keep listening to the teaching. God, give me wisdom! Why do You think I am learning about King Jehoshaphat being blessed in such a way that while he was searching for Your kingdom, his neighboring countries you weakened in a way that he did not have to fight them? And the fact that during his reign Arabs brought all kinds of donations to the Jews, perhaps for the first and last time in history (2 Chronicles 17) is completely absurd. Oh God, if you could show me how this story connects to my life, that would be an absolute miracle!
But now I have to run, I got called that I need to suction again.
“For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”
2 Chronicles 16:9
Our lives click to the same rhythm every day, perhaps the order gets different. I need to fill the sleep therapy machine with water. I need to suction mucus from the trach. I need to change the band holding Vince’s trach. I need to clean the container of the suction machine and plug it into the charger. I need to put Vince on the potty chair and fasten the belts, so he won’t fall out. I need to put the brakes on the wheelchair before I put Vince into it, etc. A lot of routine tasks surround us. But I have never understood why it is that if I do the same things every day, still there are days when I wake up cheerfully and with perfect peace, and on other days with anger and self-pity in my heart.
Since I have been attending Bible school I have been experiencing less and less negative feelings during my daily routine. I do things in a way that my thoughts, and through that my heart too, get more and more into the right place, not depending on whether I am tired or not. I already realized that the Word has a cleansing power, since it carries Life! But now that I listen to God’s word every day, not only as part of my morning prayer but as part of a preparation for my exams, I have the opportunity to think about it, and this way my life is getting transformed. Would this be the parallel between King Jehoshaphat’s and my life?
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.”
It’s unbelievable, but it seems like I truly only need one thing: to stay in the thought that Jesus sends to me! But then who will suction Vince’s secretion if I only ponder upon the Word? Of course it’s me, but by talking to God with the help of the words He has given, I get to know Him better and better! I realize again and again that Jesus is a relationship-addict, and He only desires to be with me and care for all my problems. How, for example? He sends a very kind friend who every once in a while takes our house key and cleans, does the laundry and irons, because she would like to help. He sends a country dance group in wheelchairs to organize a charity ball to help with the cost of treatment for Vince. He sends an editor in chief who starts a Christmas fundraiser at a county newspaper so we can provide Vince with accessibility. He sends a mom who helps us get a free oxygen concentrator for our trips to Germany. Of course He helps in so many other ways, because He keeps me in a supportive marriage with helpful grandparents in the background. He keeps my little boy healthy in the flu season in such a way that He has even helped him gain 8 lbs since the start of kindergarten.
“All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again. All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”
King Jehoshaphat! Thank you for your life! I can see that even though thousands of years have passed, nothing has really changed, God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He provides for me with the same personalized care as He did for you.
And now you won’t believe what just happened! The head of the institution approached me while I was writing these words. He asked me what I needed in order not to sit in the hallway all the time, because it is a very basic setup. He said I didn’t bother him at all; he would only like to make my life easier! He has asked his colleague to provide me free access to the library. God, your organizational skills move everybody! Thanks to You, now I don’t only study theology in kindergarten, but You have gotten me enrolled in the library as well!
And off I go to suction mucus again…