It’s dawn. I turn Vince from one side to the other. My consciousness is still somewhat asleep, but an inner voice says, come close, just cuddle here with me. I get into bed, pull the blanket over myself and fold my hands in prayer. I’m here. Thank you for letting me know about You! You created the heavens and the earth and everything that’s in this universe! I don’t want to ask for anything, I just want to be here with You. I just want to sink into Your infinite, soft love. The whole world praises You with life. The life that wants to live, because You sustain it all with Your breath! You breathe life into me too. My heart is so grateful!
“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.” John 4:23
Amazed attention instead of wanting
After prayer, the cogwheel-like daily tasks begin. I dress Vince, inhale with him, turn on the cough machine, have breakfast, brush his teeth, and he’s already sitting at the table with his private tutor, hard at work. I do a load of laundry, send a few emails, brush my teeth, and after taking Vince to the bathroom during a break between lessons, I’m off for a swim. Deep breath, several strokes in the water, and I notice that half an hour has flown by, and I’m just swimming, swimming, swimming in happiness. My soul was washed by the morning cuddle with God, and my body by this half hour of swimming. I go back to Vince, and in my mind I keep going back for a cuddle to God. The beautiful thing is that nothing special is expected on this day, yet God is now teaching me that He always hides gifts here and there. Not just any, but personalized surprises are awaiting me. I don’t know what I should ask Him in my prayers, but He knows exactly what I need. Instead of wanting, I wait with amazed attention.
We are in acting class. The first part has just finished, Vince is rhythmically circling the room in his wheelchair, while the others practice their dance lesson. I’m just sitting there, mentally moonwalking to the music like Michael Jackson. I don’t think about anything, I just relax. Vince can’t wait for the second part of the rehearsal to begin. Suddenly the dance teacher leaves the children, when he sees that they know the choreography by heart. He comes to Vince and asks a question: Would you like to help me with the dance? Love shines! God is creating! Listen now! What are the chances that a disabled child can help teach a group of children dance? But the answer comes immediately. The teacher says that he has been thinking about this and asks Vince to choose a song he likes. Later the dance teacher will put together some dance elements, and Vince’s task will be to put together the sequence to the rhythm, so that it matches the music. Then the rest goes quickly, they exchange Messenger contacts and discuss the rest of the details.
God hides so much love in our day. How many sparkles do you notice? To what extent do you put your wanting, the desire to do something in the background, and how much can you sit back and let God take care of you in the way that is best for you?!
“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Psalms 119:105
I admit that I often start my day with wanting and effort. I put the tasks in order, one urgent one cuts in front of the other. I’m in a hurry, squeezing the hours and minutes so that I can fit in as much as possible. But, when I manage to turn my attention to the fact that I am the smaller one and He is big in my life, then the greatest miracles happen! I just picked one of the many that take place every day. Because, of course, God hides the next guidance, light on the path that awaits me, every step of the way. I am so grateful for the many helpers in our lives who come as private tutors, come as theater group leaders, come as physiotherapists, come as grandparents, come as friends, come as online chess instructors, come as music teachers, come as mayors, come as friends, come as brothers, come as complete strangers, come as new cities, come as restful nights, come as songs of praise shared with others, come as blissful moments, come as adopted brothers, come as volunteer helpers, come as Messenger partners, come as hugs, come as fresh new thoughts, come as laughter and comes as a husband and father in one. I haven’t listed a thousand things, and there are even some that I don’t know about yet, but the point is that God knows!
“The Lord works wonderfully, / But his way is hidden.
The sea covers his footprints, / He glides on the wings of winds.
Like in the depths of a secret mine / He forms his plans,
But He brings it up with a sure hand, / What is still hidden here.”
Part from a church hymn